We grew up in a family which did not celebrate birthdays.
Not in the sense we know about these days. Nobody sang a birthday song, there was no simple congratulation at all. There were no gifts, no hugs, no one mentioned how old we were, there were no special treats, or birthday dinner or breakfast, no cake or balloons. Our friends did not come over to celebrate our birthday. A birthday was an ordinary day, full of responsibilities, errands and many chores, especially for me, as the eldest daughter and sister.
However, guests were often hosted in my parents' home. Adults had fun at the generously laid out table, drinking, laughing loudly and singing songs. Only we never knew about the event and the occasion, because this is not quite a child’s business, as our parents believed. Our job was to help out and to sit quietly in the children's room.
I have a single vivid memory of my beloved grandmother, who walked singing in the streets, all the way to the hospital, where I happened to be at around age eight. She brought me a small gift wrapped in a handkerchief and told me it was my birthday. I will have to tell you this story another time.
In my 20s, I realized the importance of celebrating myself and others on a birthday. I tried to remember the dates of birthdays of my relatives, friends, colleagues and former classmates. One of my favorite things to do back then has become creating birthday surprises, which did not always turn out to be as successful, as I wanted. Perhaps, somewhere inside of me, there was a desire to receive surprises, to accept birthday wishes easily and joyfully, without spending long hours of cooking and cleaning for my guests.
When Arman moved in to live with me, as a student at the Polytechnic Institute, we did not miss his birthday. I had the opportunity every year to learn how to wish a loved one a happy birthday. To bake or buy a cake? What to cook for dinner, what gift to find, how to decorate a house, what surprise to make, and what nice words to say to him.
It is true that when you give a person joy, you actually receive much more joy yourself. Long before the date itself, you are filled with the energy of happiness, inspiration, creativity, especially when you do it for yourself, and not out of obligation to do it. You feel like your wings are growing. And even when the moments of happiness and joy of celebrating a birthday subside, you are still filled with its magic for a long time.
This is how unconditional love works.
Happy birthday, my dear, my only brother, my Amonya!
Remembered, loved and always missed. Today you are 38.
Your Apashka.
Komentarze